My consulting company went bankrupt and I had to move on. My cousin Wole, had a very beautiful girlfriend from Belize. Out of town beautiful, and I liked her personality a lot. She got a whopping job offer in San Diego with chance to become a partner in an immigration law firm ( they were both lawyers and just done with Law School at the American University in DC). Since I had no job now and we were in the days where in the IT field, you could get a very good job in just about any location in the US, I decided to go with them to California. I had heard so much and really wanted to experience California. It was such a joyful time in my life then and I fell in love with San Diego immediately. I got the job instantly on the first open interview I went to. The salary was much higher than I had ever made - $90k per year. It was a nice dream, and I now worked for a military project they called NMCI - Navy Marine Core Intranet. In those days, I still saw the American army as mostly just, and good. I did not have a moral issue working for them. I was the most knowledgable Solaris Sysadmin in the team at Coronado Island. Everyone came to me for answers and I was always very happy.
I started maybe May 2001, and by August or September, they had selected me to go and run the Sun Microsystems/Solaris project in the Engineering team on Sherman street. My immediate boss was a very beautiful woman called Stephanie McCleave. I liked her personality very much even though many of the guys talked badly about her because she was tough. I could tell she liked me a lot too, but it was always just professional. Once we got a girl on the Unix team who just isolated herself, acted like she knew more about Unix than everyone else and never really joined the team. She was breaking the good team spirit and then the last straw was when she started verbally attacking Stephanie. I was really mad at her and told her to leave. I don’t care where she goes, I just wanted her out of there. She took it very badly and I think she complained to her dad who was a higher ranking guy in the military. Anyway, nothing really came of it and she did not come back while I was there. The lead Unix guy I replaced was still there at the time, and everytime Stephanie will tell him to do something, he would refuse and rebel against her. He was kind of arrogant and I could not find much sense in his reasoning not to do those things. I kept quiet and just observed his behaviour with some anger. One day Stephanie asked him to do something and he refused again and she saw I was there and knew my reputation. She immediately asked me to go and do it. I was so full of joy at that moment and ran to the task, which I completed much better than that goat could ever have. She then relieved him of the lead and gave the position to me. Not long after, this former lead was talking with one of his friends. His name is John Robles. He was describing his experience at a brothel in Tijuana, just accross the US border in San Diego, how he was having sex with a prostitute. He is an older man. At that time I was maybe 33 years old and he was well into his fifteys. He claimed he could not get it up, but the prostitute faked and orgasm and gave him a good experience anyway. Then September 11 happened. A month later on halloween, John Robles planned an office outing for the guys only. I always loved to go on these outings to have fun outside of work with my co-workers, so I planned to join them. He did not mention the destination. When we got there, it was a bar. After a while I noticed the same thing as that brothel in Nigeria. Beautiful women approaching men to negotiate. Wow! I’m in a brothel. In those days the world was very normal to me, and there was no real spiritual activity going on. There was no real consequence for engaging with a prostitute. I began to wonder with a bit indignation, why the girls were not coming to me. Not long after that, one of them came to me. She asked me to buy her a beer. I was very happy to. I was sitting down and she sat down very close to me. In about a minute, she put her hand right on my “thing” and it responded immediately. It was up and very strong. I knew immediately, I have to go. I waited to consciously bring it down enough so I could stand up without it showing and then went with her. She took me upstairs and just outside the room I was about to pay her and said “sixteen dollars?” because that is what I thought she had said ( I was very attracted and more motivated by the price ). She frowned and said “no, sixty dollars”. I said “ I thought you said sixteen”. She responded “for fuck?…”. I then shut up and paid her the sixty dollars. By that time my d1ck was still standing and she told me to undress, then she held it and said “ees big deek”. I said “no its not” because I know i’m small, but she shook her head and said “yes it is”. I did not know what to make of it or cared, because I never needed to feel my d1ck was big to enjoy sex. Just give me a beautiful woman and I’m on my way. I know she may not enjoy it as much as I, but I don’t fret over things I have no control over. If it’s love, she will handle it, and if it’s a prostitute, she may even prefer it. We started having sex and I was enjoying it, but taking long as usual, then she made some kind of move like because I’m kinda short there, it allowed me to go deeper. I think like giving me “angle”. I climaxed soon after that. I went back to the bar, and kept looking in amazement at how many really really beautiful girls where available for sex for “free”. I thought I couldn’t believe my luck. I had never seen such beautiful women. You know that mexican beauty with that skin tone… unbelievable. What had I been doing with my life all this time? Then another one came and stood next to where I was sitting again. Some guys around me started saying “touch her… feel her”. I was tempted so I touched her everywhere I was curious about (not the breasts though). It all felt exactly like I had envisioned in my mind. Again I had to go with her. Again I started taking too long for her and she said “es muy espara”. I know enough spanish at that time to know she meant I was taking too long, so I tried to consiously get to the destination faster before she gets mad and leaves me hanging. Luckily that happened. She charged my only $40 and I thought she was even sweeter than the first. So that was two girls in one night and I was still feeling like I could go for more, but I decided to call it quits. Don’t know if this means anything, but I saw one of those military guys from Coronado base that patronize the brothels in Tijuana, hi-fiving John Robles while I was sitting in the bar, haven indulged. Something in my mind was saying they are celebrating “getting” me, but I dissmissed it as not important. I walked around the whole neigborhood of the brothel and there were so many other brothels, and even just outside on the streets and sidewalk, where tons of very beautiful girls and the thought was every one was available for sex. I couldn’t believe such things exist and how lucky I was to discover it now. I remember thinking at one point, “this is me, and this is where I belong”.
After I left the bar that night, I promised myself I would come back and pick the most beautiful girls myself, because the ones I had experienced came to me themselves, I figured there were even more beautiful ones I can go and find myself, so about a week later, I somehow found my way there. I remember the cab driver that was taking me there was telling me there are even better places with far more beautiful women. Anyway, I wanted that very same one and got there. I sat for a while, survailing the place for the most beautiful woman I could find. Finally my eye caught one, I said “this is the one”. I made my way over to where she was standing trying to solicit several men. They all turned her down and I thought “idiots. thank God for that, none of them will steal her away before I get there”. As I got very close, we locked eyes, and it was like a tracktor beam ( in startrek ). I closed in and just held her close, because I knew I was permitted. All I said was “how much”. She said $60 and we were on our way. On the way up the stairs, I caught a sumptous view of her behind, and was thinking “if only the boys could see me now”. I paid for the room and gave her her cut. I completely undressed and I saw a look of compassion in her eyes, when she saw how small I am. We got on the bed and I was still flat, so she gave me a bit of a blow job, which I responded to. she said “me on top?”. I was happy with the idea so she got on top like sitting on me and began to do her thing. After a while I naturally felt like getting on top myself, so we changed and I was going faster and faster for a while, but not climaxing so she said “cum baby”. and soon after I came. We got up and she proceeded to a sink that was placed in a corner for the prostitutes to wash their “area”. she washed and I also went to the sink and washed my area too. We left the room and went our separate ways. I strolled around the brothel a while thinking maybe I can now experience a girl with the biggest boobs I can find. I saw one, but I wanted to pay $40 dollars like with the second girl I enjoyed so much. She refused and I heard her pimps around mocking with indignation “$40 dollars for a girl”. I decided its not worth it to go again, so I left for the night. This decision may just have saved my life for unbeknowst to me I was right at the limit of where satan could now capture me successfully. A great spiritual war maybe decided over $20. could be the only time being cheap was good for me.
The next day I started to think how it seems I have lost my footing somehow in my life, and this really was not me. I thought that I should stop with the prostitution and just try again to find a normal girlfriend. I also considered for the first time that the girls were not doing this of their own free will, but were under some serious duress, and there is no way I can be part of that.
In those days, John Robles kept trying to tempt me with one thing or another. In particular he told me to go and negotiate for a much higher salary. He claimed they where making about $135 and hour, which comes to about 270K a year. I wasn’t sure if I believed him and I had the sense he was just trying to lure me to things I shouldn’t be doing, but I did go and negotiate my salary anyway. They turned me down and I forgot the idea.
I had a colleague in the SA team at NMCI station in Coronado Island. His name was Bill Dakouris, a Greek, who happened to be gay. He kept it hidden, but was obvious to me before too long. One day we were discussing about evil things and he mentioned something concerning my spiritual state like I had entered a dangerous place and asked me “this time did you vomit?”. It did not make much sense to me but today I know the process where they start to pull your spirit to satans side, if you have a chance to drift back to the light, it would involve you vomitting and then eventually your spirit is back, but if you did not vomit, then they pretty much have you, its just a matter of time. I seem to recall after one or two of the prostitute encounters one day I suddenly started vomitting.
Though Bill was gay, I tried not to let it bother me, but a few times, he crossed the line. For instance, once we were walking in the data center, and just before we exited, he said to me "why don't we schwab the deck and finger each other in the ass?". I was so mortified, I could not even respond to that. The awkward silence told him what I felt (I think).
Maybe 2 or 3 weeks after the last prostitute, my cousin who I moved to San Diego with was getting married to his very beautiful girlfriend in Bermuda. I went for the wedding which was great, but immediately I returned to San Diego, I was informed not to come to work again. I had been layed off, or fired. I called my friend, the architect of the project ( Bob Costas ) and he said he had no idea why, but it certainly was not for performance. I called Stephanie and said to confirm if its final so I can start looking for another job. She said its a good idea to start looking, and said something about me giving her sleepless nights. I took the advice and started looking for a new job. I took that incident as a sign that maybe it was a very wrong move to start indulging prostitutes. I also assessed the whole situation and vowed I would never again go to a prostitute. If I can not find a girlfriend, I would just continue to do by myself forever.
After three months, I landed another job at a subsidiary of Home Depot in San Diego, called Maintenance Warehouse (MWH). I was thrilled again because I had never been 3 months without work, or income so I was really getting worried. There was a bit of a red flag at my interview. The man who was to be my manager, Bill Schiraldi met me along with the recruiter from RHI (Robert Half International) in his office and immediately dismissed the recruiter in a slightly rude way, saying he was not comfortable with him being there. I did not make a big deal of it, but it seemed wierd, and I felt bad for the recruiter.
When I started the job, everything looked great, and I was very happy. One of the nights I was asleep at home, sometime close to dawn, a dark spirit came in the place between sleep and awake, where I seem to have no control whatsoever, laying on my back, and with his “thing”, trying to penetrate my "back door". This never happened to me before, and I fought it very hard, until finally I was able to break free and wake myself up. My intuition told me this was now happening because of the prostitutes I had associated with. It was not long after this that I began to wriite my song "Hold me in the dark". Things started to take a turn at work as Bill Schiraldi started to micro-manage seriously. Like he was breathing down my neck. Everything I was doing he would poke his nose into, to tell me how to do it better. He was a stickler for documentation and wanted me to document every single detail of whatever task I was going to do, before I do it. Even very simple things I could do with my eyes closed. Once I left work for some hours as I was always used to being free. Only important thing to me was that I got the job done, not that I was sitting at my desk at all hours of the day. He was not so focused on the productivity, but the look of order. While I was out, he came to my desk and saw I was not there. He now placed some Items on my chair, in order to determine how long I will be out. I came back maybe 3 hours later and removed the things without thinking much of it. He immediately called me into the office to ask why I was away for so long and gave his evidence of the things he placed on my chair. I thought "how petty". Many times when he would call me into the office, while talking to me, he would hang his mouth open and begin rolling his toungue around in front of me. I complained about this to his boss, and his boss scolded him a bit, and he got really mad at me. Then the part I wrote in my website, he would call me into his office, and we would discuss a bit and at a point while I’m talking to him, he would begin to wink at me. It was not a sexually suggestive wink, but rather like he knows me from a very long time ago that I cannot remember anymore. At the moment he is winking, the flourecent lights in the office would start blinking off and on. I played it off like I did not notice. One time he was chastising me for something or other and mentioned “I have a file on you this thick…(indicating with his hands how thick)”. Amazing I thought to myself. How can anyone be so small minded. One day I was at the docking area where we received computer equipment we had ordered, and he saw me there and said the docking area was kind of dirty, that I should get a broom and sweep it. I thought it was an odd request for an engineer to begin sweeping, but I figured whatever, if they are paying me $40 an hour to sweep a dock, I’ll do it. In those days, when I annoyed him he would refer to me as a common technician. One day, I forget what happened, but he suddenly said to me “I will start treating you like everyone else”. In my mind I was thinking maybe its God, who has been treating me so well all my life, and now I am disappointing to the extent he would now categorize me in the group he doesn’t care for. And to be honest, he treated everybody very bad. I was told when I started that the SA I replaced who had rebelled against them made the comment “I can never work for Bill Schiraldi”. At first when I heard it I figured it was unfair judgement of Bill and I should give a chance and see for myself if I would have the same feeling. Yes, it was not too long I came to the same conclusion.
In those days still, I had a lot of hope that my singing voice would come back. I used to love to take long drives in my nissan Maxima, which had a very good sound system. I would play either ABBA, Sade or a CD I had purchased in the 90s, containing love songs. On these long drives, I would just sing to the music, it was always so much fun and enjoyment for me.
Bill’s boss was Tom Giannetti. Tom and I got along very well, but he was a bit of a fascist too. I got the idea that Bill did not like Tom too much because he was giving Bill more trouble than even Bill was giving me. I remember one time when Bill, who was taking pills for anxiety, had to write a letter to Tom explaining some things he did and how his medication was his reason for such action.
In the early months I started working there, I had a dream one night, my father took me to a heavenly looking place. We were high in the air, and below us a very beautiful scenery. A river winding through with beautiful palm trees on the sides of it, and he said to me “if I lose you now, what do I have left?”. I woke up and was so in awe and the joy I felt from having what was evidently a true spiritual moment. I knew it was related to my involvement with prostitutes. I thought well I had already vowed never to do that again, but I’m glad to get some reinforcement for that decision.
There was another total dick that worked at that location. He was the lead DBA (Oracle Database Admin), called Charlie Mengler. Early in my stint there, I was working on a server and had to reboot it. I can’t recall the details, but I’m pretty sure I did nothing wrong in the protocol and communications, and when I rebooted, I got a flamming email from Charlie, in all caps, insulting me and seriously chastising. Thats how my relationship with the lead DBA began, and I always hated him after that. Everybody else had all kinds of complaints about him, but they claimed they just cant get rid of him. All in all, there was just so much acrymony in that company. Total negative energy. Once I was in a meeting with the lead Unix SA and other people in the Unix and DBA team, the Unix Lead - Rick Von Richter, said some things I thought I should add some amendment to. Because of the atmosphere in the room I was a bit nervous, but I decided to voice my opinion anyway. As I did, my voice trembled just a bit, not much at all, but they picked up on it. After that meeting my manager called me into his office saying he wanted me to work on public speaking and speaking in environments that may be hostile to my opinion, and that they will help me. I laughed the situation off and went my way. After that they started forming meetings to create tense atmosphere trying to break me when I speak. I remember after one of those meetings, he asked them “did anyone break?”. I was kind of amazed in my mind at this kind of thinking.
In those days, I watched porn on VCR videos. I had just one video, with a good collection of porn on it. I watched it whenever I was in the mood. I would watch only for as long as I lasted, once I had climaxed, then I'd turn it off and continue from the point I stopped the next time I was in the mood. ( I found it funny when my friend Bill Dakouris [that I said was gay], borrowed it and claimed the next day that he had watched the whole video in one night. How someone can be watching porn when not jacking off was a true wonder to me ). Anyway, back to the point, it was 2002 about then, and I remember in 1993, when I was watching porn again in my Allentown apartment, and after watching it, I was enamored by how perfect the guys dick was, and in those days, I was under the impression that my dick was about the same size as his. I looked at it in the bathroom mirror, and it looked hmmm ok maybe. I was tempted by the idea to record it on video, as I had a very good video camera then. I then started masturbating one day, and turned the video camera on in the direction of my bed. When I played it back, I looked in the direction of my dick, expecting to see something like what I see in porn videos. There was nothing there at all. Nothing. I could not find my dick. I was shocked, so I looked even closer. Hardly anything there. I refused to believe the video evidence, but I was now aware that my dick is much smaller than what I thought at first. I have never really been concerned about my dick size, but now the very little concern was maybe a little more than before. Through the years of watching porn, it did affect me, but just a little, how little my dick was compared to the porn guys. I knew obviously they would use the guys with the biggest dicks, but still I had been in locker rooms many times growing up ( as a wrestler in Central Junior High school in Iowa city in 1980/81, we took showers after practice and I always noticed I was the smallest by far ). Also in FGC secondary school in Nigeria, it hardly bothered me, but again I did notice I was the smallest. Even so, I used to bathe outside, where only the guys with the biggest did, without feeling any shame. Back in Chula Vista however (San Diego), in 2002, there began to be a *lot* of adverts for pills that can make a mans dick bigger. I totally laughed at the concept initially, thinking “thats obviously impossible”. Its a scam, there’s no way it works. At a certain point however, rethoric around it began to look like there is a possibility it does work, so I became curious, but still very skeptical, I just decided to “google” if those pills do work. The first couple hits were normal, some claiming it works, others claiming it doesn’t, then I got one hit, that totally captured my attention. Someone had written a small article on why its not a good idea to try to grow your dick. The words he spoke went right to my heart. It seemed to be written by someone with great care and understanding, that spoke directly to me, maybe even higher than how I currently write on facebook or other social media. Immediately after reading that article, I put away completely, any thought of wanting to use any “aid” to grow my dick. I was totally confident and happy with the little dick I did have. AMEN! Today I believe it was either Saint Peter or Jesus himself that did that article.
The first time I noticed a wicked spirit take control of someone was in that office. One day I was speaking with Rick (the lead SA), and I started to complain about the management style. I said many things including “its fascist, men..” at that point, I saw his head and neck move in a very weird way, and his voice changed and he started lashing out verbally at me “have you done this this and this?…. “ I would answer “yes”. "And have you done that that and that?” again yes. “What about the other thing?”. I quickly backed away from where he was and went to my cubicle. How strange I thought. he was a totally different being, and mean. Rick never acted like that naturally. In fact I never saw that face of him again.
Another night while I was still working there, I had a nightmare about Bill Schiraldi. We were somewhere in the lower area of a building of sorts and he was doing something in a watery place where I was now walking close to. We were chatting normally and then I got close to where he was and noticed it was 4 or 5 rows of coffins stacked in the water, one coffin on top of another, with dead bodies inside each coffin. I immediately began to run away, and he was pleading with me to please come back, there is nothing going on here. I did not look back.
I remember one occasion, Tom took me to an office upstairs to meet a man I did not know. As Tom introduced us, the man had a look of recognition as he looked at me and his expression was like someone who had lost someone dear, like crying a bit with surrender. I immediately reflected on the events following my involvement with prostitutes and figured his expression was saying they had lost me to the dark side. I also knew something spiritual was going on, because quite often when I would be talking with someone, looking in their eyes, they would suddenly put on sun glasses, like they did not want me to see their eyes. One time we went out to an ice cream place and I made a comment like “it’s gross for two guys to eat out of the same ice cream cup/jar" Next thing they ordered one jar and two or three of the guys each with his own spoon began to eat out of it. I dont know why, but it turned my stomach a bit, like unsanitary, not to talk of sexual implications. They acted like they were bold and shoving in my face they dont care for my opinion.
During my stint there, one day at lunch, a Mexican guy who was one of the top managers came to sit with me. We talked a bit but I didn’t have too much to say. I got the feeling he felt he was gracing me with his presence, and he seemed a bit disappointed when he walked away, like I did not appreciate the opportunity he was giving me. There was another manager who was really high up and Bill kept trying to groom me to kiss his ass. They organized an event in our offices on the first floor, where we would give a presentation of a project we had worked on recently. Bill instructed me that this manager would be coming and I should be on my best behaviour. Many people from the upstairs offices came too, and while I was talking to them about my presentation, this top manager walked in. I did not change anything I was doing, but continued to talk to the other regular colleagues, finishing off the presentation. When I was done then they left and the manager asked me a few questions about the presentation. I answered them happily. In those days, I had just started to lose my hair, and this guy was bald on top, with a little hair on the sides. He was much taller than me, and I saw a small smirk on his face, when he noticed I was losing some hair. Needless to say there was no ass kissing going on anywhere there. Later I think Bill reprimanded me for that.
One day I was at the cubicle of my friends who was the Microsoft Windows lead ( a Mexican guy ). He was a cool friendly guy. I noticed he had a calendar on the cubicle wall, with all the days previous to that day crossed off. I understood completely as I was doing the same thing in my mind. I had made up my mind long before that I would quit the job as soon as I could. I just wanted to get to a point where I had enough money in the bank to coast for a while. I started working there around Feb 2002 and by October or so of that year, I had paid off my house in Bethlehem. Around October of 2023, I now had about $23k in my bank account, so I figured it was enough if I wanted to quit. The opportunity did not take long to arrive. One day I took my car to the mechanic in the morning and so I got to work very late. They gave me a hard time for that. After they had finished scolding me about being absent for work due to car issue, I went to my desk and wrote my 2 weeks notice of resignation. I was so happy. My manager was very silent when he read it. I know he was devastated. Nothing they could say could change my mind and I was gone in two weeks.
About 2 months before I quit the job, I went back to my house in Bethlehem PA, where my Ghanian friend Gabi was staying while I was in CA, and stayed a week or so. One day, while Gabi was talking on the phone to Aristos (they were very close), he noticed I was still walking a little funny due to the foot twist. He mentioned to Aristos on the phone "the thing still dey. The ingredient is strong!." At the end of my stay there, I suddenly got a nose bleed from out of the blue. Nothing like that had ever happened before to me. Something in my mind was telling me it was some kind of voodoo or black magic someone had done on me. I thought it would stop quickly, given I always felt I had strong spiritual resistance to such things, but it kept on for a while. I was trying to hide it from Gabi and look like nothing was going on, but he asked me at some point if I was bleeding, even though there was no visible evidence for him to possibly know that. This increased my suspicion that it was voodoo, and I thought he was somehow aware of how it came about. I said nothing though and just left back for Chula Vista.
After I quit my job, I decided NOT to rush back to Pennsylvania, but instead take some days to go to the beach and just enjoy a bit. It was in this period that I wrote the reggae song I called "I had a dream (about you in bliss with me last night)", about falling in love with someone after having a beautiful dream about them.
After a while, I moved out of my Casa La Paz apartment in Chula Vista. The day I was moving I thought my cousin Wole would come and help me, but he declined, saying he had to go to the gym. You can imagine what I thought about that, but I decided to understand. I did not want to throw away some of the items from my apartment, but also could not carry them to pennsylvania. In particular a steam cleaner for carpet. I asked Wole if they could use it, and he declined again. Ok, no issue, I threw it in the garbage. I think as I was about to throw it some lady showed up and was interested so I was so happy to give it to her. I still decided to stay with my cousin Wole while waiting to travel back, despite what seemed like a distant behaviour from him. I parked my car by the side of the road close to his apartment and maybe the first or second day I was there, my car drivers side window was shattered again, glass everywhere and this time, some items stolen, including my video camera and small box of check books ( a bank account I had opened in Maryland when I worked in DC ).
One day while staying with Wole, his good friend from AU law school came visiting with his then girlfriend Carla. They lived in Mexico, just across the border from San Diego. His car faltered and we decided to give him a push so he could start it. I pushed along with Wole and eventually the car started. I was sooo winded after that I just had to go sit at the bottom of the stairs. My fatigue became very serious like I was going to faint and die there. Wole had gone up the stairs to the apartment and was discussing cheerfully with his friends and never noticed what was going on with me. Somehow I got out of it feeling like I narrowly escaped death, and went and joined them. I’m only mentioning this because very similar situations happened again in the future, where something major was going on with me, and Wole just seemed totally oblivious.
Please click this link to continue
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.