My 37 Year War with satan Part 2 - After he attacked

When I got to Oruenes place in Brooklyn NYC,  One of the first things I think she said was “you got my message”. I assumed she was talking about the thought that came into my head to go visit her, so I said “yes”. After a while, I described all the strange things that were happening. I can’t remember when, but at some point, she said to me that a very wicked man is trying to catch me. She also mentioned that he uses people around you to do so. It was still afternoon and I started getting some very serious paranoia. I became fearful that it was not safe to be in the apartment with her. The specific paranoia was that some people who hated me severely, were on their way to my sisters apartment to capture me, and she was being used as bait to keep me there. Due to this anxiety, I made up an excuse and left her apartment in a hurry. There was still a very intense feeling like I was being hunted, and immediately I stepped out of her apartment, I saw a Hearst (vehicle used to carry dead people). I thought it was a bad sign and hurried around the block, and kept on going in a hurry, not sure where to. I must have seen 2 more hearsts before I finally entered a train station. It was evening by this time, and slowly getting dark. I got on a subway train and went to Grand Central station (42nd street). When I got out on the street, it was like I could hear everybody’s thoughts around me. Something inside me was saying that this is the way true life has been that I did not know about. Everybody could hear everybodys thoughts and were living in a state of Utopia here on earth. It has been kept a secret from me since I was born, but time has come to reveal it. I went back into the subway station and walked around for a while, again hearing everyones thoughts (or so I thought). A thought came in my mind again saying that all the wars and disasters I see on TV are all just theatre, and nothing is really happening to anyone. Soon after a subway car door opened and a man holding a bible in one hand and a crucifix in the other came out and was motioning like he was being religious and calling people to repent, came out. The thought in my head said these things - religion, Jesus, God etc, were all fake things that don't exist. Of course I was just listening to what it was saying, but the Jury was out for me on wether what the thoughts were saying could be true. A short while later, a man was in front of me and seemed to be saying to me telepathically “Ooh you had the footlong dude”. The thought in my head again went to when I thought the twist process was to give me a bigger dick, and he was telling me, they wanted to give me a foot long (12”) dick, but I messed up and so I am now back to my 4” dick. I became miserable, like crying a bit, then decided to get on the train and go back to my sisters house. Almost all the while I was out on the streets and in the subway, I was intermittently hearing my sisters voice in my head ( more like a very loud thought in her unique voice ). When I got on the subway and the train started moving, she said something to me again, and I replied to her out loud “Oruene, I’m on the train, I can’t talk right now”. One guy standing across from me looked at me kind of weird, like “this dude is talking to himself”. I kept quiet after that and proceeded back to my sisters place.  When I got back, it was rather late. My sister came around with some funny looking little box, like a game or something. Bunch of holes with colored “sticks” that would fit into a hole. She said she wanted to play a game with me, that I should guess, which hole she is going to put the next “stick” into. I said, theres no way I would know, and she said to guess anyway. Every time I would make a guess, she would say “good, you’re doing well…”. After a short while, I decided this may be some kind of voodoo I’m being involved with, so I told her I would not play anymore. She then took me to another room and lit candles and held one of the candles, and told me to kneel down and pray with her. I thought it was normal kind of praying, so out of niceness, I knelt down with her, and she began to pray. Midway through her prayer, it seemed weird and so I realized she is probably not praying to the same God I know. I quickly disengaged from the prayer.

I slept at my sisters place that night and the next morning, I decided to follow her to her work place. She worked in a NYC primary school, as a teacher. On the way there, we were stuck behind a garbage truck for a while, and I could see garbage men behind the truck, shoveling the garbage, and a thought in my mind like “this is what you have become - garbage, and soon you will be disposed of accordingly.”

My sister introduced me to her friend and fellow teacher, who was from Belize ( I forget her name now ). She was really pretty, and seemed friendly, so we spoke a bit. They soon went to take their classes, and I was left alone in some kind of room. I took one book where primary students had written things in, and started reading it. It had the strangest entries, and looked like a horror book. In it were entries like “there will be blood… everywhere”. “They will not believe you this time” and other frightful entries that seemed to be speaking directly to me. I could not believe it and looked closer to verify what I was seeing was really written, and not some hallucination. It was real. After a while, I decided not to read anymore. My sister came back from teaching and we headed home. 

When I got back, I cant remember what else transpired that day, but I do remember saying to my sister “so all these things are true. Jesus, God, the Bible, all these spiritual things are real, and true”, because before these strange things started happening, I thought it was just stories, maybe true, maybe not, but the jury was not even deliberating. Now the jury was clearly in. There really is a spiritual aspect to our lives. I can’t remember her response, but later at night, I went upstairs to the room she had for me to sleep. Again I kept having paranoia that there would be a fire in the house, and I will not be able to escape it because I am upstairs. Somehow I managed to fall asleep even though. As I fell asleep, I was just barely conscious like in a dream, and then that consciousness seemed to disintegrate into millions of pieces, and I was in many separate places at the same time, it was a very terrifying feeling. Then came a warm “fire”, not hot in anyway, but I can best describe as the “fire of creation”. I was in that fire for quite a while, and then all of a sudden, all the millions of separate pieces of me came together, and I suddenly woke up. As I got up from the bed, I saw the pet hamster my niece had, in its cage, looking a little bothered, because the big cat was outside, trying to reach in with his paws to catch the hamster. The thought in my head was that I was the hamster and the cat was the devil or the wicked man, trying to catch me. I got the sense I should be moving on as soon as I can. The safest place for me now would be back home in Bethlehem. I quickly exited my sisters place and got in my car to go back to PA. As I got in my car, it was still dark outside, with dawn just breaking. All the cars around me looked weird, as well as the occupants. I drove and found my way across the bridge to New Jersey. Just as I came across the bridge, the road seemed strange, and just went on and on. After a while, I decided to turn off the road, as I must have made a wrong turn. As I turned off it, I found myself right back where I was before. On that same road. I tried to turn off it once or twice more, and it was the same result. I was right back where I was before. The experience was so strange and frightening. I suddenly had a realization I could never get off this road again, and it was leading me to my death. After some time I started seeing bodies of water on both sides of the road, and the thought telling me, I would eventually drown in the water, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I had to get off the road as soon as possible, so I kept looking for a way out. After a while I saw a police car by the side of the road. I thought phew! what a relief. I immediately stopped to ask him the way to Pennsylvania. He was standing outside his car, and when I approached, he took two steps backward and the spat on the ground, and then came forward again. I told him I’m lost and looking for my way to Pennsylvania. He asked me “Do you want to jump” (because George Washington bridge was close by, and known for people jumping to their suicide). I said “no”, then he asked me “have you done something wrong?”. For some reason my mind went to when I had a short affair with a girl in Nigeria, and I had sex with her many times, without a condom, and the possibility, she got pregnant after we parted, but did not tell me and then had an abortion. Thinking this was a possibility, and knowing I would be responsible if it really happened, I said “yes”.  He then said, “do you want to go to the hospital?”. I thought this must be my way out, so I said “yes”. He took me in his squad car, first to the police station, here they told me to take off my shoes, I was crying and they put me in a holding cell. On the cell wall, was written the word “Hell”. Something was telling me I was being put in hell for whatever I did. After a short time in the cell, they brought me out again and another 2 officers took me in their car to Bergen county Psychiatric hospital. On the way there again i was fully paranoid, thinking they were going to drown me in the bodies of water we kept passing along the way.  

Once we arrived at Bergen Psychiatric hospital, many thoughts were going through my head. For instance I was thinking my siblings and I were special people here on earth, from another place, and our mission on earth was to solve all the issues in the world, by defeating the evil forces, but that I have just messed the whole plan up by being put in the hospital. At some point, they left me alone, while waiting for triage, and I was wandering in the corridor and in some of the rooms.  Then they called me for triage, and while triaging, I saw in the near distance an Imam (Muslim priest) and a christian priest. The thought in my head was that the Muslim priest was the way to hell, and represented satan, while the christian priest represented God. I did not believe that one, but it was still in my head. Then they finished triage, and I was waiting for the doctor. At one point, I got the idea I should call for attention by playing like I wanted to commit suicide, so I went in one of the rooms and tied a bedsheet around my neck and sat at the base of the bed, hoping someone would come in and see me and sound the alarm. I must have been there maybe 10 minutes, and nobody came, so I gave up the idea and removed the bedsheet from my neck. I went out in the triage room area, and outside in the corridor, was a woman who was frantically walking up and down. I suddenly got the idea that the whole thing was a setup, and all they wanted was for me to take a hostage, like we were acting out a movie plot. Take a hostage, and commandeer a police car and drive away from the hospital. The idea got so strong in my head, that I believed it and decided to act out their movie, so I jumped in the hallway, and grabbed the woman that was walking up and down frantically. I put a pen toward her neck like I was threatening to stab her with it (I am so ashamed of this act today ). Suddenly, I noticed people around me were not acting along at all, but it was very real, and so I quickly let the woman go and put my hands up. They immediately strapped me to a gurney, and restrained me that way for maybe 3 hours. After that, they released me and I saw the doctor.  I explained why I had done what I did, and they diagnosed me with Paranoid Schizophrenia. They gave me a prescription for Risperdal, which I started taking. The next day or so, my younger brother Kole, came along with my sister Oruene. They had somehow found out where I was and what was going on. My older brother enitan was there too, and I saw a look of deep hatred in his eyes, once he saw me. Again, my mind went back to the thought that we were a special force come to save the world, and somehow I had bungled the whole thing, which is why he looked so angry with me. A few days later, they let me go, and I got my car out of the police station, and then we headed down to my younger brothers house in North Carolina. I was there almost a week, and because they never told me when to stop taking the medication, I decided because the symptoms had all gone away, and I had never before had to take medication permanently, so I stopped taking the medication, believing I was now cured. I was having very paranoid thoughts still, but thought they were normal. Also I noticed when we were driving in the car and news came on the radio, about the Iraq war, my brother would suddenly turn the radio off, feeding the idea I had that what was happening to me was somehow related to the war in Iraq. And so with all the weird things going on, I left my brothers place in a hurry. I had planned to stop in VA to see my Ghanaian friend Aristos, but when I called him at the time I was in the area, he first gave me some directions to take to his place, and when I took those directions, I was nowhere and he stopped responding to my calls, so I found my way back to the highway I 95 and kept going north to PA. As soon as I got back on the highway, he called me again, and then gave me a new set of directions. Again, I took those directions, and the same thing happened. He stopped answering my calls. I got back on the highway again, and then he called the last time and told me that it will teach me a lesson, to next time print out directions to his place before coming. This is what lead to me eventually removing him from my life as a “friend”. Till today, I no longer speak to him. The rest of the trip was very weird. The level of paranoia was very high. I remember not being able to sleep well in a motel room because I thought some people were coming to get me. One man in a restaurant, out of the blue, came to me, and said “you see it is snowing now… It is snowing… It is coming down” I thought this meant the evil force that was out to get me was stronger when it snows. I ended up thinking I should flee to Canada (after seeing a truck with “Canada dry” ginger ale ad on it). Then I realized even in Canada, this thing could catch me. I had reached around NYC by then and decided to go back to my home in PA. On the way back, I decided to buy a little snack to eat. The price on the receipt was exactly $6.66, again fostering the idea, they wanted to make me the beast from Revelation in the Bible. I decided I would fight that with everything I got. I somehow ended up in New Jersey, in my older brother enitans house. I gave him the prescription they had given me for Risperdal, but told him I was not interested in taking it anymore, as I was no longer hearing voices. Again through the night, seriously paranoid thoughts like a fire was going to come burn down the house with me inside. In the morning, I left for my house in PA.  A few weeks after that, I was hearing voices again. At one point, I was talking to enitan on the phone and he made a joke like “don’t go and put aluminum foil hat on your head, thinking it will block the voices”. After we hung up, I found it so funny, I actually made an aluminum foil hat and sat down on the floor, laughing at the whole situation. Some days after, it was at night and it was enitans voice in my head. I had just urinated, but then he said to me, “do you feel like urinating?”. I thought how strange, because I had just done so, so I thought it was impossible, but then the feeling came almost immediately - like I had to go again. I decided it is impossible, so I will fight this “Illusion” with everything. I ended up staying up all night, to make sure I don’t urinate, and watched old star trek episodes on vcr to keep my mind off it. Eventually, when I was satisfied that I had kept it at bay long enough, then I went to urinate ( the sun was already up the next morning ). so I went to the hospital in Bethlehem, PA, near my house, for in-patient treatment. I was there for a week or two to get back on the medication. When I got out of the hospital, I was still having strange experiences. It would feel like dead American soldiers from Iraq were dragging me and throwing some kind of ashes up my nose. Because of all the strange things still happening, sometimes I would get in my car and drive, sometimes all the way out to New Jersey, because I thought my house may be haunted. I would park by the side of the highway, and sleep, or at least try to for a while. I was also experiencing a lot, spirits trying to screw me in my butt. Eventually one day I decided it was too scary to stay in my house, so I called my brother enitan, and told him I would come stay with him for a while. One thought was saying I’m going right to the spiders mouth, but I ignored it. Again the experiences on the road, what was going through my mind were very strange. For instance if I saw an ambulance, I would think that was spiritual forces warning me about where I’m going, so I was still undecided. At one point, I thought I would stay in a hotel for the night, since it was late already. When I got in the lobby, waiting in line, there was a note on a pole there that said “Its not too late to turn around”, so I quickly got back in my car and kept driving to enitans place. When I got there, he gave me some clothes that were “Christian” colors, and said I should wear them. Because I was still paranoid, I did not wear them. Even as I tried to sleep that night, again a spirit was trying to sodomize me in my sleep. I fought it off and once morning came, I knew I was not safe in enitans house either. I told them I was leaving and drove off. While I was driving, enitan called and started saying “where are you going to go? There is nowhere you can go.” I was listening in a dazed fashion, but determined to keep running anyway. At some point around that time, I went again to NYC to visit my sister Oruene again. At one time, when I was close to her house, I suddenly got a wave of smelling feaces, but there was no shitting place close by. Not sure why I’m mentioning this now, but thought I should.

Things got really scary because of all this new spiritual happenings, that at one time I would crawl under my music room desk and the main song in my mind in those days was “Rock of Ages”. I would wish dearly that a great big rock would just swallow me in and keep me hidden there forever, where I would be safe.

One day, while a bit bored, I went to the basement and started going through some of my moms things. In the process, I came across a letter Niyi had written to my mother. It was a formal professional letter, so my first thought was “why in heck would Niyi be writing a formal letter to my mother? Anything of importance, he could easily talk to her directly”. It was not a letter of recommendation or anything, but a scathing disapproval of her handling of trying to get a job in a university. He was sounding like she was not serious at all, but a ne’er do well, not doing enough to get the job. I could not believe my eyes. How could Niyi be writing such a letter to someone who is old enough to be his mother, and not only that, so close in the family. Unfortunately, I put the letter right back where I found it, and then at a later date, I decided to start a file called “war crimes”, and put that letter in there. I went looking for it all over the basement, but did not find it anywhere. Of course by this time, I was aware that satan can make anything disappear completely, and that is what he did for Niyi.

By this time, my money I had saved up from MWH job was almost finished, so I decided to start looking for work again. It was around June 2006 now and I had been out of work since end of 2003. That is about 2.5 years. My first attempt ended up in a job offer from a group running the FED reserve bank in Dallas. There were so many signs along the way, that I should not take the job, but because I needed money, I was following through anyway. I decided the best way to go was with my car, drive down from PA to Dallas, rather than take a flight and ship my car as I did with California. I had already made arrangements with an apartment complex to stay in their apartment, but did not sign the lease yet, Even before I began the journey, strange things were still happening, like I saw my nipples growing big, like I had gynecomastia ( a condition where men get breasts like a woman ). I did not know how to deal with such things so one mind was telling me to sell the house and drive to Mexico, just to get away from the evil United States. At one point I had called several pastors and churches from the phone book, telling them of the strange experiences I was getting. None of them had any answers. The closest one got was to tell me it was demons of oppression causing these things and that I should give my life to Christ and it would all go away. I knew immediately that was no answer. Besides I had already said that prayer to give my life to Christ long ago, and nothing happened then. I began my journey with much confidence and optimism, that I would get there and take the job and there would be no issues after that. Then all kinds of signs started to come, against going there. My brother enitan called me in the car and told me, “Just because the Pope just died and they say there would be a solar eclipse, doesn’t mean anything, so don’t abort your journey when you see that”. I inside thought that was some kind of sign, but not enough to turn me around. In those days, I had began to have sexual problems. I did not think it was because of the medication, and I was trying my best to fight it, so I would try to masturbate any chance I get, just to prove it was still working. I must have been on the road to Dallas about 3 days and nights, with strange things happening. People looking at me from their cars, like they know me, a highway billboard that said something about WACO, making me think TX must be a bad place, knowing the story of how the FBI killed 23 children in the David Koresh case. Trailer houses that had accident on the way and were scattered everywhere by the side of the road, and then reminders that there will be a solar eclipse and the pope just died. I then remember seeing a video of Ariel Sharon ( the then leader of Israel ), along with George Bush, and they were walking together happily, the thought in my mind was that this was because they had caught me with this Dallas FED reserve bank job. I also had a dream one night that a good friend I had advised me not to go to the job in Dallas. It was about that point I decided not to go again. I called the consulting company - they gave me hell and promised they would sue me if I don’t go. I did not care. I turned my car around and began heading back to PA. Just as I turned around, I was happy again, and started singing in the car, and then enitan called again. He was angry that I had turned around. I did not ask how he knew, but did not care. On my way back to PA, I kept trying to masturbate, as I was really worried I was becoming impotent. I went back to PA, and continued looking for work, as I figured the issue with that last one was that it was with the FED reserve bank, which was an evil institution, bankrolling evil in the world. I eventually got a job at GMAC bank in Horsham PA. I would drive 1 hour 15 minutes to work and then the same back in the evening. At first, it was no problem, but I started having strange issues again. First, it was taking me a very long time just to put my clothes on in the morning. I cannot explain the reason to this day. It would take me up to 2 hours just to put my trousers on, sometimes having to stand on my head just to do so. Another thing that started to happen was the police would frequently pull me over when I’m not too far from the office, saying I was driving erratically. I never saw how I was driving any different from anyone else, but they did this so many times, in fact, once they would not let me go unless my sister came to get me and drive me home. I remember explaining these things to my manager, and how I felt he must have thought I was lying just making excuses for being late. The final thing that happened that August or so, was I finally became completely impotent. I was not able to “get it up”. I had tried everything to make sure it wasn’t so, because I felt it was impossible, but I had to face the news. I was impotent. Then another issue I began to have was eating. When I would try to swallow, it became impossible, I would be sitting for 5 minutes or so, just trying to get one swallow. Some people would notice in the cafeteria and come asking “are you alright?”, to which I answer of course “yes”. It made me very nervous the few times we went out as a group to eat, but somehow I managed to get across those ones. I was completely ineffectual at the job, and finally relieved when they decided to lay me off. I had been there roughly one year, and was glad I made it that long. I had gathered enough money that I could coast for a while again. It was now 2007.

Once I was free from work again, after 3 months or so, my sister convinced me to go in-patient to a NYC Psychiatric hospital, in order to get off Risperdal, which seemed to be causing so many bad side effects, including me walking and acting as if in catatonic state. I was very much against the idea at first but finally decided, what the heck, why not give it a try. After all, I was doing nothing at home, and did not plan to work again for a while. I spent 3 months in the in-patient clinic, and in that time, my impotence sort of went away, but my sexual experiences were very short now, lasting sometimes less than 5 minutes. I also began watching porn again, because some patients had access to a computer in the general area, and with internet access, they would watch porn, so I sort of got addicted to it again. They succeeded in changing my medication from Risperdal to Abilify, which made me gain quite a bit of weight. When I went in, I was maybe 175lbs, and when I came out, I was about 220lbs.

I stayed out of work the rest of 2007, and all of 2008. Two things I did in 2008 was go canvassing a bit for Obama presidential campaign. I really believed in those days, he could make a change. I was so thrilled when he got elected. The other thing was to visit my cousin Niyi, who was living in St. Louis Missouri at the time. During my visit with him, twice, he got me involved with prostitutes again. Not sure now if satan was directing him, or he was doing it of his own free will, meaning he wanted me to be captured by satan. First time, he took me to a strip bar, which he called his favorite “titi” bar. While in there, a very beautiful girl came and stood by my side.  Somehow, the danger of indulging with prostitutes, completely left my mind, and I held her around the waist, while she was standing next to me. Before long, I saw Niyi paying her some money, and directing her to have sex with me. I was so stupid then, though I was very reluctant, I could not say no and so I went along with it. She noticed my reluctance but Niyi kept telling her I was just shy. We did not have sex per se, but she did sit down on a chair on top of me and used her hand to jerk me off. The second one, Niyi suddenly without announcing, took me to a motel, and then took me to a room there, where a mid aged looking woman was waiting. Again, I was really reluctant to do anything with her, but again, in those days, my will power to say “NO” was just not there, and unwillingly I went along. This time God intervened, and I could not get “it” up at all. THANK GOD!!!.  

And then in 2009, around July, I was running out of money again. Because I needed some money quickly, I sent an email to my siblings saying I would give them my car, if they would give me some money.  My younger brother Kole, told me to just hang in there a little longer. My older brother enitan immediately said “No business within the family”, using a general rule I had mentioned many years earlier, meaning, we should deal with each other as family, not as a business. He completely missed the point, because, then, he should have offered any money he could, without asking for my car in return, or just said he had no money to support me now, instead, he said in a commanding voice “No business within the family”, without any offer to help whatsoever. Luckily, maybe 2 to 3 weeks after that, I went for an open interview for a Solaris Admin position in Philadelphia, with Comcast Interactive Media, and I landed the job on the spot. I was soooo relieved. I began the job, and it turned out to be a dream job at first. The only problem was that it took me away from my core system administration career path, to a sort of support role for internet website for the company (infinity.com and comcast.net). I had no system admin functions at all, though the manager still insisted I study and take the sun Sysadmin certificate exam. I focused on the job and did little studying for the exam, which I never intended to take. Everything went great through 2009, but in 2010, strangely, I began to have sporadic deep intense abdominal pain. I went to the doctor, who said it must be gall bladder, and recommended I have my gall bladder removed. However, because the tests were inconclusive, and I had never had any kind of surgery done before, I decided to hold off on surgery until we knew for sure. In that time, the stones went from my gall bladder all the way to my pancreas tubes, and caused a pseudo cyst in my pancreas. The situation was very serious and took 3 surgeries to my pancreas in order to rectify. In the process, I came VERY close to death one night, after they had put a tube in my nose that went to my stomach. I was having serious trouble breathing, and a lot of mucous was going down my throat, to the extent, I could not stop some from going into my lungs. At one point the mucus got deep in my lungs, and I could not breathe at all, and the nurse was pounding my back to get it out, though she seemed so unconcerned if I would live or die. 

Somehow, I survived that whole situation and the good news, with all the inabilities to digest food for so long, I lost a lot of that 220 lbs, and was now down to maybe 165lbs. I never again ballooned to even 200lbs. Not long after I got out of the hospital and back to work ( by the way, thanks to short term disability, I was getting paid a bit while in the hospital. I was out of work for about 6 months ). We were working on the companies website and I had to publish the site, but there was a file missing, which I asked the developers for. They told me to hold off that they would get me the file. After waiting a week or so, my manager just appeared one day and said to go ahead and publish the site anyway, even without that file. I got angry because it seemed they were doing things behind my back, and making it look like I was silly for requesting the missing file. I made a complaint to HR, and included a story about my manager who had once made fun of another lady who was also a manager, that some things she had done were really silly. I also mentioned about a racial joke that was incorrectly addressed in a HR questionnaire they had made me take. These things were evidence of Misogyny and racism within the company, not to talk of how my colleagues where treating me. After waiting for 2 weeks or so for HR to respond, nothing happened, I was so angry, I quit the job immediately.

Sometime in 2010 or so, I went up to NJ to see enitan, and I remember when we were just outside his house, and I was care free and got on his bicycle to ride around a bit, I saw a deep look of hatred in his eyes again. Till today, I don’t know why he is not able to hide it in such moments.

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